She leaned against the window ledge,
stars dancing in her eyes,
a slight smile warming her face.
But, she did not see the flowering tree
at her window.
She was far away
in a dream induced by the now familiar
theme of the Disney movie...
She was a beautiful maiden,
flowers in her hair,
a sparkling satin gown
wrapping her flawless body.
A knight stood on her doorstep,
handsome and tall,
his countenance exuding a cool
self-assurance that all enemies
would quickly be vanquished.
'Hello Anne.'
'Anne? Uhhh, hello?'
'What is that annoying voice?' she wondered.
Confused, she gazed at her knight
and slowly realized he wasn't wearing
shining white armor.
He wasn't tall and handsome and gallant.
And the irritating voice was his.
'Uhhh, hi Anne,' he said.
'Is your sister home?'
Relieved that this fake knight
did not come for her, but for
her unfortunate sister, Anne
ushered him forth.
Returning to her windowsill,
she once again fell into the dream
of how she would meet her knight
and he would sweep her away,
rescuing her from all harm,
caring for all her needs
and loving her every day for the rest
of her life...
'Anne! Are you listening?'
'You're on the blue team. Get over there!'
Feeling awkward in her new ugly uniform,
Anne trotted over to her teammates, such as they were.
Girls only.
'Girls can't play sports,' she thought with disdain.
'What am I doing out here? I could be trying
on that new dress. I bet Micha would notice me then!'
'Can you please tell the class your answer to this math question, Anne?'
'Ummm, I don't get it teacher', she whispered,
wishing she could sink into her desk,
never to be seen again.
'Anyone knows girls aren't good at math,' she thought
in her own defense.
'Why does he have to pick on me like that? He could
just ask one of the boys. They know the answer.'
The school dances, the football games, lunches,
parties...
they all were about finding her knight.
She knew he was out there.
She had dreamed of him her entire life.
Now, after 18 years she was realizing
that he was not at this school, and
had hopes that he would be found at college.
He would be more mature than these high school boys.
He'd have a career and be ready to make good money.
'And, we'll marry...just like it's supposed to be,' she cooed.
And then she found a career path, quite by accident really,
as her real reason for going to college was to find her man.
But, she stumbled upon this career path.
She became interested in school, was elated
to see she could get good grades in difficult subjects,
could, for the first time in her life, see herself
doing something important,
being successful,
caring for herself.
Such a thought that was...
that she could actually care for herself?!
'Dad!', she called on her trip home.
'Dad! Guess what?! I am going to have a career!'
'My daughter. How I love you' her father smiled.
I am happy you are getting skills in college.
You may need to use them if something ever happens
to your husband.'
Stunned by her father's words,
and his complete lack of faith in her,
Anne's newfound sense of self and confidence
faltered. If her own father didn't believe in her,
who would?
'I'm just fooling myself,' she thought.
'I can't do it. He's right. I need help.'
A lifetime later,
marriage, children...
Anne leaned against the windowsill.
There never was a Knight in Shining White Armor.
She knew that now.
And despite caring for her children and her self
for so many years,
she still felt the chilling fear
of not being able to care for herself.
She found herself,
still, waiting to be rescued,
still, not believing in her self,
still, frightened about her uncertain future...
And then one day,
she looked around.
Seeing no one but herself,
she finally, finally after all these years,
realized that it was she who must wear the armor,
she who must rescue herself,
and she who must create a future for herself.
The story had been told all wrong.
It was not the story of the Knight in Shining White Armor
saving the beautiful Maiden.
It was the story of the Maiden earning the Shining White Armor
by courageously facing life
with whatever she had at her command,
despite her fears and her self-doubt
and her falllibilities.
The story was about her finding forgiveness
for all those who taught her that she
was incapable and insufficient and forever needy.
It was about trying to instill in her own daughter
a sense of self-worth and self-love and self-belief
that could fortify her during all her life's pursuits.
It was about assuring her sons
that they did not have to single-handedly bear the burden
of providing in life;
that they could lay down the oppressive armor;
that the women in their lives (including their daughters)
didn't need rescuing,
could be valuable partners,
could help make a life.
And, it was about suggesting to her children that
they might even bury the Shining White Armor,
and just allow themselves and their own children
to blossom into the beings
they were supposed to be.
stars dancing in her eyes,
a slight smile warming her face.
But, she did not see the flowering tree
at her window.
She was far away
in a dream induced by the now familiar
theme of the Disney movie...
She was a beautiful maiden,
flowers in her hair,
a sparkling satin gown
wrapping her flawless body.
A knight stood on her doorstep,
handsome and tall,
his countenance exuding a cool
self-assurance that all enemies
would quickly be vanquished.
'Hello Anne.'
'Anne? Uhhh, hello?'
'What is that annoying voice?' she wondered.
Confused, she gazed at her knight
and slowly realized he wasn't wearing
shining white armor.
He wasn't tall and handsome and gallant.
And the irritating voice was his.
'Uhhh, hi Anne,' he said.
'Is your sister home?'
Relieved that this fake knight
did not come for her, but for
her unfortunate sister, Anne
ushered him forth.
Returning to her windowsill,
she once again fell into the dream
of how she would meet her knight
and he would sweep her away,
rescuing her from all harm,
caring for all her needs
and loving her every day for the rest
of her life...
'Anne! Are you listening?'
'You're on the blue team. Get over there!'
Feeling awkward in her new ugly uniform,
Anne trotted over to her teammates, such as they were.
Girls only.
'Girls can't play sports,' she thought with disdain.
'What am I doing out here? I could be trying
on that new dress. I bet Micha would notice me then!'
'Can you please tell the class your answer to this math question, Anne?'
'Ummm, I don't get it teacher', she whispered,
wishing she could sink into her desk,
never to be seen again.
'Anyone knows girls aren't good at math,' she thought
in her own defense.
'Why does he have to pick on me like that? He could
just ask one of the boys. They know the answer.'
The school dances, the football games, lunches,
parties...
they all were about finding her knight.
She knew he was out there.
She had dreamed of him her entire life.
Now, after 18 years she was realizing
that he was not at this school, and
had hopes that he would be found at college.
He would be more mature than these high school boys.
He'd have a career and be ready to make good money.
'And, we'll marry...just like it's supposed to be,' she cooed.
And then she found a career path, quite by accident really,
as her real reason for going to college was to find her man.
But, she stumbled upon this career path.
She became interested in school, was elated
to see she could get good grades in difficult subjects,
could, for the first time in her life, see herself
doing something important,
being successful,
caring for herself.
Such a thought that was...
that she could actually care for herself?!
'Dad!', she called on her trip home.
'Dad! Guess what?! I am going to have a career!'
'My daughter. How I love you' her father smiled.
I am happy you are getting skills in college.
You may need to use them if something ever happens
to your husband.'
Stunned by her father's words,
and his complete lack of faith in her,
Anne's newfound sense of self and confidence
faltered. If her own father didn't believe in her,
who would?
'I'm just fooling myself,' she thought.
'I can't do it. He's right. I need help.'
A lifetime later,
marriage, children...
Anne leaned against the windowsill.
There never was a Knight in Shining White Armor.
She knew that now.
And despite caring for her children and her self
for so many years,
she still felt the chilling fear
of not being able to care for herself.
She found herself,
still, waiting to be rescued,
still, not believing in her self,
still, frightened about her uncertain future...
And then one day,
she looked around.
Seeing no one but herself,
she finally, finally after all these years,
realized that it was she who must wear the armor,
she who must rescue herself,
and she who must create a future for herself.
The story had been told all wrong.
It was not the story of the Knight in Shining White Armor
saving the beautiful Maiden.
It was the story of the Maiden earning the Shining White Armor
by courageously facing life
with whatever she had at her command,
despite her fears and her self-doubt
and her falllibilities.
The story was about her finding forgiveness
for all those who taught her that she
was incapable and insufficient and forever needy.
It was about trying to instill in her own daughter
a sense of self-worth and self-love and self-belief
that could fortify her during all her life's pursuits.
It was about assuring her sons
that they did not have to single-handedly bear the burden
of providing in life;
that they could lay down the oppressive armor;
that the women in their lives (including their daughters)
didn't need rescuing,
could be valuable partners,
could help make a life.
And, it was about suggesting to her children that
they might even bury the Shining White Armor,
and just allow themselves and their own children
to blossom into the beings
they were supposed to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment