That she was different, she had finally come to accept,
albeit with some trepidation. The
difference had been the source of much pain in her life. For, it was not the difference of the rich
and beautiful so emulated by young and old alike. No, it was the difference of thought, the
difference of voice, the unwillingness to ‘fit in’ and abide by the ‘rules’,
and yes, even the audacity to ask who wrote the rules in the first place and
what gave them the authority to do so. This
difference had earned her the ire not just of the elders, but of her
companions. It had led to the separation
from her community and to the journey into her self.
The journey into self began with many battles and more tears
as she relived the consequences she had suffered for being the ‘outsider’. And through the tears, she came to realize
that she had internalized the judgments of the others. She had accepted the judgments and grown to
see herself with derision and contempt. In
the dark, when even she couldn’t see the tears, she would curse the difference
that was her. But, she also knew there
was no way to change. This is who she
was.
And, as she meditated she was visited by spirit guides who showed
her visions; dreams of the lives past; visions of futures unfolding;
visions of a world wherein she fit, where her difference was exactly what was
needed. She saw people of a different
color and tongue beseeching her to join them, inviting her to step into the
beyond.
The spirits spoke with her, walked
through the stars with her, showed her the heavens and the depths of the
earth. They danced with her, carried her
on their backs, taught her to fly… Then,
one day they dissembled her, extracted the pain and rebuilt her from the
remains. The spirit guides were always by her side, in
meditation and while awake, always reminding her that she was never alone, that
she had a purpose and that it was time to step onto the path.
And then she remembered.
She remembered the vow she had made so many years past. And she knew that every step of her life, all
of it, had led to this moment. It was
time. One last time, she gazed upon her
young and her companions of old and smiled, assured that they would be
okay. And then,
she let go.
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